Encouraging Presence Over Presents: Helping Kids Stay Grounded
The holidays are filled with many emotionally altering events. Kids are even more reactive to all of the changes and often lose the ability to manage emotions. We want our kids to be mindful (and grateful) for the gifts they receive, act in socially appropriate ways (saying thank you for gifts received), all while playing nicely with the cousins! That’s a big ask for kids but here are some things we can do to help them feel grounded and manage emotions more effectively:
Review the events of the day each morning. Talk about what’s on the agenda and limit the events to 3. Write events on a visual space so kids can see what’s happening throughout the day. Include time and location. This helps kids see what’s coming and helps them feel safe with an unusual schedule.
Reflect on the events each evening. At the end of the day, discuss what they enjoyed most, what didn’t go well and things they could have done differently. This isn’t a time for consequences or shame. It’s a time to look back, be grateful and also discuss ways to improve things in the future.
Talk about feelings throughout the day. Model emotions by talking about how you feel. Let kids know you’re excited to see family members, worried about traffic and hopeful you’ll have a favorite dessert. Acknowledge feelings in your kids, too. You can say, you seemed sad when you didn’t get to play the game or you seemed super exited when you got that gift! Feeling cards are great to take along on your travels to help kids identify and manage the feelings they experience.
Last, but not least, take a few minutes each morning to help yourself stay grounded this holiday season. A few deep breaths, a short meditation, a few minutes to journal or sit quietly in front of the Christmas tree before going to bed. It’ll all be over before we know it and we will have survived it once again. Let’s take a few moments to enjoy it, too. Ultimately, the more grounded we are this time of year, the more grounded our kids will be.
Happy Holidays to you all!
Allison