Cognitive Strategies, Neuroplasticity and Intention: A Self-Study

Sometime in the fall of 1996, I was sitting in my car outside a gym in rural Missouri. I was in my second year of undergrad and I had no idea what I wanted to do for a career. I had spent the majority of my time focusing on basketball, my first love, and how I was able to afford my college tuition. Just before I turned the engine off I heard a woman on the radio discussing a book she had written about how kids learn. I was fascinated by the way she described kids and how their emotions shape their learning and essentially their lives.

I never went into the gym that day. Instead, I listened to the interview and after, said aloud, alone, there in the parking lot, “I am going to work with kids and be an author and speaker someday.” It was a pivotal moment in my life and the next fall I choose Education as a major and went on to study Counseling in grad school. I have had very few moments in my life when I knew I was meant to do something but in that moment, I knew.

As I dove into psychology in grad school, I was fascinated by cognitive strategies and essentially, the ability to choose what I thought about. I had always been anxious and, for as long as I could remember, believed I had no control of my thoughts. My mind was filled with what could go wrong, how I could keep things from going wrong and why I needed to perform. I didn’t think there was a way out of them.

So, I tried cognitive strategies myself. I spent my days repeating positive thoughts in my mind: I am safe. Life is working as it is supposed to. I am okay. I am enough.

And, it worked. I felt a relief from anxiety and slowly, I felt calmer. Then, I began studying neuroplasticity and learned that our brains are constantly changing and evolving and I began to wonder, “can I change my anxious brain?”

I have been doing cognitive strategies since 1998. I have spent time meditating and have created intentions for myself, for my life, and this is what I have found: My brain has changed. I have more control of my thoughts and am able to calm myself in ways that were impossible when I was young. I will also say that my mind is still incredibly active. I have not become a relaxed person, by no means. But I have found the ability to choose my thoughts to be the single most important factor in managing my anxiety and enabling me to do the things I have wanted to do.

One thing I keep coming back to is this: feelings cannot be changed but thoughts can. And if you can change thoughts, you can change your brain. I find this reality to be one of hope for myself and for the many kids I have worked with over the years. During this time of uneasiness in the world, I encourage you to find one or two, maybe three positive thoughts to say to yourself, over and over, throughout your day. See if they work. Look for the calm. And control what you can control. Love to you all.